The struggle within me seem inescapable, seems hard for me to run off from the desires of my flesh. This is the body that has known too much of the world. The body that has had adventures through every window of opportunity. The body that has demanded times what I am not able to offer. This body that God had me have meant to glorify Him and only Him. I feel I could get away from anything, I could escape it all but not my body. May be that will mean am not connected to earth anymore. Often time I have fallen for that. I could escape the corruption of my own body.
What if it never existed like it does. The passions of this body that my mind has easily termed the passions of my heart which even that is a lie because my heart craves something greater, someone greater who could quench all the thirsts that my body often runs to things to satiate. In all honesty all my body longs for never lasts for long, just moments of pleasure and mysticism with a being. A being just like me. This body of mine, wants what it wants. And I feel like it has mastered me and never truly understands what a struggle it is for me to not meet the needs of it. So insatiable to things it has never known. Poor me torn between what this body wants and what I truly desire.
In everything there is always the real. There is always a truth standing outside the door of my heat knocking ever so loudly but gently. Waiting to save me from this body of mine that almost feels like the enemy. A body I never asked for. I am stronger than my body but I let me submit to it which is a weakness and wickedness altogether. The real me has the power to be the one in psalm 63, where my own body thirsts for the One for the Only. The wonderful God. Where I so desperately need him and am sick with love unable to be human again. So taken by a love from above. I gotta say those moments happen then my body ruins the party. But still the countless shades of grace. Always saving me from my body. Will the body always win? Not so. The grace is immeasurable and never can be measured always being enough in the weakness of the body.
Oh! thank you to the countless shades of grace.